Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
