dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
