I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
