nut hugger
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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