fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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