Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He better not be in your backpack
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
