Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
