I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
