it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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