His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
