I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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