Are we in a gay sports bar?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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