I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
