you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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