sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
