Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
