my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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