"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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