My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
