ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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