so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
