So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize