The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize