I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
dude. I can hear the air.
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