Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
