id be glad to
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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