Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you traded sex for a burrito?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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