How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
