Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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