i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
