Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
