I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
