Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
