Apparently you make a good broom.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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