Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
