So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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