If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
