I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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