Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
