WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
this hospital has no fireball
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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