I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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