can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
