I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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