His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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