Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
