Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
