I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
