No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
