You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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