I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
