never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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