I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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