Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
