I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
