dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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