no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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