Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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